under the full moon, vol. 6 iss. 5
Hey there. Happy Full Flower Moon.
before diving in the tepid waters below, i wanted to share the latest "extra" bit that's been added to everyoneisdoomed.org — a "photo zine" about AIDS Wolf, and a decade or so i spent following them around, taking photos, and blowing out my ear drums. this was originally published in 2012, and i've wanted to archive it here for a while. enjoy (or don't!).
Spinning around in space, this tiny blue marble we're on is the most hospitable place for light years around.[[1]] We're lucky to live here; we would not even exist without the particular conditions this little petri dish holds. But even "here" is a troubled place.
All manner of organisms, including people, have figured out ways of living just about everywhere on this planet, from scorching deserts to frozen tundra, from deep dark caverns to high elevations where the air is thin. The resilience and adaptability of life on this planet is staggering and inspiring. Life, uh, finds a way.
Death Valley is one of the most intensely inhospitable places on earth, with its high temperatures, lack of water, and lack of just about any vegetation. And one of the most insane examples of life, uh, finding a way in Death Valley is the Devil's Hole pupfish.
The pupfish is named after Devil's Hole, a geothermal pool that sits in a cave carved out of limestone some 60,000 years ago, itself part of a cave system that goes back about half a million years. These lil' guys, only about 1.2" long, live for a year or so. They're closely related to the Death Valley pupfish, from whom they diverged evolutionarily somewhere between 200-2,500 years ago[[2]] — as a shorthand, you can also think of them as "closely related" to goldfish. They look like goldfish, though depending on the photo source, their coloring is an electric blue or a muted blue-grey rather than copper orange.
We don't know how the pupfish ended up in the hole in the first place, but one thing is for sure: they ain't going anywhere. Whatever larger habitat range they may have had was fractured and fragmented a very long time ago, and now, there is nowhere for them to go for many miles around. The hole is, for all intents and purposes, a closed system, fed mostly by meagre groundwater, and the occasional runoff from the paltry precipitation in the region.
For their part, the pupfishes have, uh, found a way — by some miracle, they've adapted to the tepid (consistently above 32°C/90°F) bathwater they live in, where dissolved oxygen is super low, in an impressive manner: paradoxical anaerobism. When the need arises, they just stop breathing. For hours. As a byproduct of this activity, their bodies produce ethanol (!), and so some of the pupfish physiology bears the marks of chronic alcoholism. Apart from this, they've learned to live on basically nothing but diatoms and other scraps.
We only really learned about the Devil's Hole pupfish in the 1930s, and since then, they've gone on and off of being a going concern. The highest known population of pupfish was over 500 individuals, down to about 35 individuals at its lowest, with an annual average of around 300. Last year's census marked the population at a 25-year high. The biggest threat to the pupfish — apart from basically their whole living situation — is human-based: groundwater pumping.
The fight over Death Valley's groundwater — and by extension, the existential viability of the pupfish — has been a decades-long tug-of-war between human and non-human interests. In some ways, I've been really surprised to read just how much humans have gone to bat for the pups: from environmental assessments to the establishment of a nearby conservation center to court battles with government entities and locals' anger... it's kind of shocking to think that so many humans, known for not giving many shits about the non-human life that gets in our way, have stepped up to try to save ~300 tiny fishes, to the tune of millions of dollars over decades.
Of course, the pro-pupfish sentiment hasn't been unanimous. Probably the biggest flashpoint was the 1975 lawsuit of United States v. Cappaert. At issue was the nearby 12,000 acre cattle ranch owned by the Cappaert family, and their ability to pump groundwater for the cows they were raising for meat. The case was acrimonious and divided locals, with a local newspaper editor (!) threatening to dump pesticide into the hole (!!) to "make it a moot point." Cars with bumper stickers saying SAVE THE PUPFISH appeared alongside cars with bumper stickers saying KILL THE PUPFISH.
Fast forward to 2016. A trio of good ol' boys gets hammered nearby the hole, break into the fenced area by hand (after trying to shoot the fence lock with a shotgun and failing), smash scientific equipment and vomit into the water. One single pupfish dies — which, because of their protection by the Endangered Species Act, is a federal crime. This wasn't an act of malice... just a few yahoos getting drunk and making bad choices. One of them, Trenton Sargent, was ultimately convicted and sentenced to 12 months plus one day, and given about $15,000 in fines.[[3]] The other two yahoos who were part of the break-in received a year of probation.
All of this begs the question, one that even environmental advocacy NGOs have openly wondered: is saving the pupfish worth it? Setting aside the fact that the substance of their article is a playful inversion of Betteridge's Law, putting the question out there is quite a form of bait nonetheless. The vast majority of people would likely reply with an emphatic "nope," really popping that p for emphasis. If the question were about the last 300 tigers in the wild, though, that answer would probably swing to "yes."
But answering the question properly means taking into account the fact that laws and regulations to protect the pupfish have actually had a much broader effect, and resulted in greater protections for habitats and a broad range of species across Death Valley. It's not just about saving 300 lil' freakos — the effort to save them has helped a whole bunch of other freakos in the surrounding area, too. As a big fan of all kinds of freakos, this seems worth a few million dollars over 5-7 decades.
Meanwhile, efforts to bolster pupfish populations through breeding in captivity have pretty much all failed.[[4]] It seems that the pupfish simply can't or won't survive outside of their already inhospitable habitat. The Devil's Hole is, and will remain, their entire universe. It is their tiny blue marble floating in otherwise inhospitable space. And just like the larger blue marble that envelops their habitat, its stability is not assured.
Part of me wants to look at the pupfishes' situation as a plight, but that assumes that perhaps they have something better they want to be doing — or somewhere better they want to go — and perhaps they don't. That's not to say they couldn't do well with a bigger life, and thrive in new and untold ways, but there's a difference between unrealized potential and misery. We've tried to transplant them and breed them in other locales, and it always ends in failure. The hole is all they know, and maybe it's all they've ever known, and maybe the so-called unrealized potential would be a death sentence of its own. (See also: Mars.)
However these little freakos ended up in the Devil's Hole, I'm thankful we've done what we can to help them exist there, on their little blue marble. Maybe they like it there. Maybe they're even happy, even though life seems hard.
I see our faces reflected in the glass, and I can't help but think that we are the pupfish, and the pupfish is us: our Devil's Hole is a lot bigger. But eventually, there's only so many zigs and zags we can take before the runway runs out. Before the sun explodes, it will get about 10% brighter than it is now, and vaporize our oceans — and that's not for another billion-and-a-half years or so. Based on our recent record of choices, thinking we might survive to see a brighter sun feels... unlikely. But, maybe we still have some tricks up our sleeves. Maybe down the line we'll learn to hold our breath for a couple of hours at a time, and self-produce ethanol to help take the existential edge off.
All of this to say, that I've been thinking a lot about the pupfish, about the bigness and smallness of life writ large, of an individual life. I've been thinking about axolotls behind glass, and what it's like to be a bat.
I'm thinking of the pupfish, down there in the Devil's Hole, and how they experience the world and the size of their container. Do they think of foolhardy expeditions out into the toxic air, in search of a different Hole to inhabit? Would they take a new name? What kind of pupfish would they be if they left?
I'm often comforted by my belief that the only true freedom any of us can ever have is the freedom of thought within our own minds. I'm always striving to flex the size of my mind and consistently exercise my freedom of thought, no matter how life expands or contracts.
Being a big, complex life(form) doesn't guarantee a path to wisdom or happiness, any more than being a small, simple life(form) negates that same potential. We can explore to the ends of the earth and never learn a goddamn thing. We can explore infinite realms within our own minds and learn everything there is to learn if we're willing to face the potential terror of being alone with our own thoughts. There's no shortcut to finding joy and real peace. All paths forward are a tough row to hoe.
I wish you luck out there. And I wish the pupfish luck, too.
the concrete skull of winter has melted fully now. rise, rot, repeat. you: half-shadow, half-shrapnel. them: mouthfuls of thorns & starlight. eat flowers, spit out diamonds.
what I’ve been listening to:
Propagandhi - At Peace — some garbageface lore, if i haven't gone on about this somewhere in the newsletter archive already: Propagandhi was crucial in my anarchist politicization from the age of 15 onwards. Less Talk, More Rock not only hit me musically, the lyrics and essays contained in the liner notes expanded my mind in really important directions. i stopped eating meat after seeing Propagandhi at The Opera House in Toronto in 2002. seeing them on tour in 2005 helped push me towards being vegan as well. all of that to say, i love this band very much, in ways both musical and deeply personal. they write at least 2-3 songs per album that make me choke back tears if i'm in public, and openly weep in private[[5]] — though it's still not clear which songs will take that crown this time, many are in contention. i'm so thankful for this new record. bless them for being here.
Mark Molnar - EXO — it is going to take me a while to properly digest this work... but that's not to say it is work to listen to. it is gorgeous, subtle, enchanting, sublime, overwhelming. i will have more to say over time about it, but for now, i strongly encourage you to check this out.
AIDS Wolf - Discography — while prepping the "photo zine" mentioned above, i went back and listened to this whole beautiful mess. their body of work remains beautifully messy, and still as challenging as i remember.
what I’ve been reading:
it’s dangerous to go alone… take this, and this…
Dust: The Modern World In A Trillion Particles — i really thought this book would be mundane, and tbh i was craving something like that. instead, it was riveting, thrilling, and affected me very much. highly recommended!
First Floor Volume 1: Reflections on Electronic Music Culture — this book reads like a series of blog posts (which is exactly what it is), and hews a fine line between "old man yells at cloud" (but in a self-aware way) and "let the kids cook" (but not in a carte blanche way). good stuff!
Program Or Be Programmed: Eleven Commands For The AI Future — been reading Rushkoff's stuff since the 90s (!)... which is wild enough on it's own to think about. tbh, i'm not sure why, because i'm not sure i ever have agreed with him. back in the day he was a big tech evangelist / utopianist, really carrying water for some of the worst of big tech. in the past decade or so, he's slowly turned into being much more critical, but in a liberal-ass way that i find weak and annoying. he never really commits to his most critical ideas, and remains idealistic about big tech in some very naive ways. i suppose i read a fair bit of stuff that makes me want to become the joker... why? i think deep down, as an exercise, it helps sharpen my brain in some way.
Duetti 2024 Music Economics Report — this is some months old now, but is very well-designed and packed full of good (and depressing) info. not for the faint of heart.
Honest and Elitist Thoughts on Why Computers Were More Fun Before — i know this just sounds like Old Man Yells At Cloud, and i know we're way past an Eternal September and into something like an Infinite September... but he still makes some solid points!
Citing burnout, the creative minds behind Peterborough’s Theatre on King will take a final bow this spring — i very much respect Ryan and Kate's work here in Peterborough, as well as their decision to look after themselves and make an attempt at a graceful exit rather than a crash landing. what's more, TTOK is being left in good hands. onward.
‘End of an era’: The last RadioShack in Maryland is closing its doors — salute, and RIP.
What is Entropy? — i swear that i keep running into articles like this (and this one) that really want to explain entropy to me, albeit from different angles. alright, already! i'm listening!
The Movie Mistake Mystery from "Revenge of the Sith" — the mistake discussed in the title of this blog is very much a "who cares" thing. but the preamble to the post shares a bunch of way more significant flubs that are fun to check out.
The kerning on the pope’s tomb is a travesty — sometimes you find an article that feels like it was written just for you (and maybe three of yr friends).
THE EFFECT OF DEACTIVATING FACEBOOK AND INSTAGRAM ON USERS’ EMOTIONAL STATE — there aren't really any surprises here... just further evidence of the things we intuitively know.
DSHR's Blog: Archival Storage — okay, so this is a blog about the difference between "backup" and "archival" storage, and it starts with a Public Enemy quote... so you know i was hooked in from the jump. and while i found this post interesting, it lead me over to a copy of a PowerPoint from a talk called "‘It's like a fire. You just have to move on’: Rethinking personal digital archiving" which is EXCELLENT.
and now for some AI stuff...
OpenAI is building a social network — what could possibli go wrong? in all seriousness though, who wants this?!
This ‘College Protester’ Isn’t Real. It’s an AI-Powered Undercover Bot for Cops — keep yr sticks on the ice, folks. play the player, not the puck.
A Reddit Bot Drove Me Insane — same, homie.
'Brainrot' AI on Instagram Is Monetizing the Most Fucked Up Things You Can Imagine (and Lots You Can't) — i grew up on watching (and would subsequently grow up to do work documenting) the Most Fucked Up Things You Can Imagine (and Lots You Can't)... and even in that context, this is... a lot!
The Age of Realtime Deepfake Fraud Is Here — every day, we go further through the looking glass. again... keep yr sticks on the ice.
‘AI is already eating its own’: Prompt engineering is quickly going extinct — there is a deep irony currently playing out across the tech sector, where huge companies are undergoing hiring freezes as they wait to gauge the impact of generative AI. the thing is, one of the most immediately applicable (and efficient) use cases for generative AI is for coding, and of course, it's coders themselves who have coded the tools of their own demise. i remember seeing a job posting for a Prompt Engineer at Anthropic a year or two ago, with a starting salary of $260,000 USD, and i thought to myself "damn, am i in the wrong industry?" oh well.
what I’ve been watching:
FULL DEBATE: Federal leaders debate in English — by the time this newsletter goes out, we'll already know which of these three[[6]] politicians is fixing to disappoint, enrage, and terrify us for the next chunk of time. let's hope it's the least bad one!
I thought I bought a camera, but no! DJI sold me a LICENSE to use their camera 🤦♂️ — this sort of thing 1) should be illegal, and 2) makes me actively want to become The Joker.
Chongqing, the world’s largest city – in pictures — incredible photos, and i appreciate that The Guardian didn't do the cheap / easy thing of framing their captions in some vaguely sinophobic way.
miscellany:
LarpVenture: 4th of July - trailer park larp about Broken American Dream — leave it to my fellow Poles to turn the underbelly of america into a LARP. dobra robota, rodajcy!
Ghosting Spotify: A How-To Guide — it's never too late to cut the virtual cord.
Charts.css — the potential of clean and crisp CSS continues to amaze me.
CSS Hell — and now the dark side. good luck lol.
you wouldn't steal a font... — turns out the makers of that famous ad would steal a car.
Which Year? — a fun lil' historical photo date guessing game. refreshes daily.
Internet-in-a-Box — i love these kinds of projects, that seek to bring the knowledge base of the online world into an offline context. if you don't have the werewithal to figure out how to download and run Wikipedia yrself, one of these boxes may be for you.
courgette, zucchini — i love words, and i love this blog about words, and this one in particular is quite enjoyable.
The True Size — an oldie but a goodie. get that Mercator Projection outta yr head!
Thanks for reading. I hope this full moon fills you with the energy you need to get to the next one.
garbageface.
[[1]]: Recently, scientists discovered a potentially habitable planet just 120 light years away. Pretty close!
[[2]]: This huge range is a great example of just how little we know about the pupfish.
[[3]]: This article gives a fascinating look at the case, especially how Sargent's family defends the Endangered Species Act, insists that their son is remorseful, and asks some pointed ethical questions.
[[4]]: It feels strange to call these efforts "captive," since the pupfish's actual true habitat is so localized to a single, small place. Still, some recent efforts at the conservation facility have resulted in a tiny viable captive population of a few dozen. I'm not sure based on the literature out there whether any successful reintroductions have actually happened.
[[5]]: i cannot listen to songs like "Potemkin City Limits" out in public at all.
[[6]]: Blanchette / the Bloc doesn't count, of course. i was trying to explain to a U.S. colleague recently how insane the phenomenon of the Bloc is on a federal level — it's hard to fully encapsulate it but maybe i'll try in some future newsletter. (j/k no one wants that.)
