REVIEW: Salome – s/t LP

salome_st_small

It’s become something of a common conceit in certain strains of metal: slow = doom. For the most part, I agree. Slow does indeed equal doom, and the slower and more sludgier the music, the more doom is conjured.

Still, it’s worth considering that maybe, just maybe, tempo isn’t related to some sort of a sense of approaching evil, or ever-present evil, or even a past evil lurking in the recesses of our collective memory. Maybe the slow and sludgy pace of doom metal can simply be an attempt to draw aural attention to the space between notes, the dynamics of a snare drum and bass drum, the hiss of a cymbal hit with ferocity. Or maybe I should shut up and put on a black t-shirt (sure, I have plenty) and get evil.

Salome‘s self-titled LP opens with the sound of a TV, or a radio, or some other form of media white-noise (black-noise?), and a decidedly un-metal riff being played. Maybe we’re hearing the sound of Salome guitarist Rob Moore noodling on his guitar as he watches TV. Within :30 he moves to the jam room and the opening riff of “The Vivification of Ker” starts playing, completely obliterating everything in it’s path. Enter Aaron Deal on drums, taking his sweet fucking time, letting us hear every open hi-hat hit and every ride bell ding ding ding. And then Kat starts singing.

To call Kat a vocalist is to completely undermine her ability to make yr blood simultaneously boil and turn to ice. She manages to be guttural without sounding like it’s put on, like so many other metal vocalists. Her vocals are anger, fear, dread, and yes, doom, all in one. What is she singing about? With no lyrics to guide me, it’s hard to tell, but I think if I was pressed I could make some educated guesses.

With all of these pieces in place, Side A of the LP is a must for fans of Black Sabbath, early-to-mid era Melvins, and 16th century woodcuts of torture scenes. Things go from slow, to double time, to slow, to SLOW. Side B of the record, the 22-minute monster track “Onward Destroyer” begins with a slow (!) and swampy riff that unfolds and mutates over the course of the first eight minutes, and then returns to its original form. Kat’s vocals here are especially terrifying. This song, too, contains my favourite two moments on the record. At about 13min and 17min, the song’s main riffs disintegrate into a squall of controlled and sickly harmonic feedback, some of the best I’ve heard. Ever.

All in all, an amazing record. And I think it’s worth saying again that I don’t think slow necessarily equals doom, especially here. There’s a horrific and hideous aspect to these songs, sure, and that’s part of the aesthetic. Still, I think it’s worth saying that maybe it isn’t so much that these songs are slow and therefore doom-laden, as they are unhurried and therefore meditative. I won’t go so far as to say this is trance metal, but there is a deliberate and measured approach to the performance of these songs that makes them far more vital than other doom that I’ve heard.

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REVIEW: Cartel – Cycles CD…

cartel-cycles

I tried to warn them.

When I got an e-mail from Wax Records asking me to think about doing some giveaways for the new Cartel album, I replied very frankly: “i only review vinyl, and i only review stuff i like.”* They sent me four Cartel cds anyway.

I can’t review this record. Literally, I can’t review it, because I just can’t listen to it. I get about :30 into it, and I break out in hives and get a nosebleed. I think I’m physically allergic to it.

The reason I only want to review things I like is because, really, no one needs bad press, and I don’t have time to write about things I don’t like. I’m sure some people will think the Cartel album “rocks” or “rolls” or “doesn’t fuck yr ears with razor blades.” Unfortunately, I am not one of those people.

So I’m gonna leave this one to the experts. I am not an expert in pop-punk (?), and I don’t have the knowledge to place this record in its historical context. And hell, even if I could, I’m not sure that I would want to spend an hour of my time trying to do so. I’m busy like that.

So, to be honest and fair to Wax, I’m gonna do some giveaways. I’m doing a double giveaway! I’ve for four (4) copies of the new Cartel album / hi-tech plastic drink coaster  “Cycles.” Whoever can write to me first and tell me why they love or hate Cartel, will get a copy / coaster. Trust me, this is an excellent album / coaster. If you love pop-punk, yr gonna shit yr pants over the slick awesomeness of this album (especially the first :30 of it). If you hate pop-punk, yr gonna love how awesomely this plastic disc works to keep yr coffee table drink-ring free.

write to me at everyoneisdoomed {AT} gmail {DOT} com

p.s. no links in this post. if you really care, you can find the links yrself.

*This was a bit of a dodge. I don’t actually review anything. But I’m starting today.

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PHOTOGRAPHY: Place Hands, Tomcat Combat & A History Of…, Project 165, Toronto – 06/18/09

Place Hands:

Tomcat Combat:


A History Of…

On June 18th, 2009, for the first time ever, an all ages show was held at the Project 165 space that I am a volunteer at. The show featured bands from Toronto and Halifax, and was so fucking loud I almost couldn’t stand it. It was part of a larger installation of the Remember Who’s Emma project, a film that I made the DVD menu for. The director of the film, Lyndall Musselman, put together an amazing piece of work, and did a fantastic job of sifting through history to present a coherent story.

The all-ages show was a joint production of Cognate and Project 165. Recognize.

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MUSIC: hush money – live in mississausage

[download as a "zip", right-click the image and "save as"]

FORMAT: Digital Only

PRODUCTION CREDITS: All music written and performed by Hush Money. Audio ripped from a video recording by Robin Hood Productions. Back-up vocals by Matt Fucking Miller. Cover photo by Anna Tan.

This is a document of our first time ever playing Mississauga. It was a short set, nothing but bangers, and we had a blast. The audio is touch and go but the price is right.

[included in the zip file is a text-file explaining the album, artwork, and the tunes.]

TRACKLIST:

1. Funk as Puck
2. Sensible Shoes
3. Statistics Canada
4. Stinkz Like Heaven / Vandalism for Fun and Profit
5. Well, You’ll Never Smash the State With That Attitude

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MUSIC: garbageface – when yr young and pretty

[download the full album as a “zip”, right-click the image above and “save as”.]

[the entire album is free, but if you like what you hear, PLEASE CONSIDER CHECKING OUT METHINKS PRESENTS and getting in touch with Ryan to make a donation to the Project 165 Art Space.]

FORMAT: DIGITAL ONLY

PRODUCTION CREDITS: this album was recorded in between October 28 – November 2 / 2008, on various field recorders in various hands, in and around new york city.

all sounds processed and assembled by garbageface. recordings by dave pijuan-nomura, catherine nomura dov mickelson, tariq mali, shannon gibson and karol orzechowski.

TRACKLIST:

1. when yr young and pretty.

LISTEN TO IT ON HEADPHONES.

LISTEN TO IT LOUD. 

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